40 Lessons
Every year around my birthday, I write a list of lessons — one for every year I’ve been alive.
Last week, I turned 40.
That number carries more weight. The end of a decade and the start of “mid-life.” So this is a bit more of a checkpoint — a chance to pause for a little longer, look around, and try to name some of the deeper patterns beneath the surface of a rich mix of work, life, relationships, and growth. Whether you’ve been in my life for a day, a year, or the entire decade, you’ve left a mark. I often feel like I’ve won the lottery because of the people around me. Thank you.
Alright, let’s begin:
40 Lessons from Turning 40
- Not everything you feel needs to be solved. Sometimes it just wants to be noticed.
- The goal isn’t to have less fear. It’s to fear less important things.
- There’s no perfect version of you. Just show up, keep learning, and offer others grace to do the same.
- Make joy a requirement, not a reward.
- Your body was made for more than just sitting or walking from one thing to the next. Dance, ride, run, sweat, and do things that make your heart beat faster in the best ways.
- Health isn’t just about exercise. It’s relationships, finances, mind, and spirit.
- Sometimes it’s not burnout, it’s resentment.
- When you’re tired, simplify. When you’re overwhelmed, step back. Clarity often comes from space.
- If you’re not choosing how to spend your time, someone else is choosing for you. That’s how people lose years without realizing it.
- Start the morning with something that isn’t a screen. A walk. A journal. A book. A moment of quiet.
- Build rhythms that help you become who you’re trying to be. These are like scaffolding for your character.
- The more responsibility you carry, the more thoughtful you need to be about rest.
- Financial freedom has less to do with hitting a number and more to do with needing less in the first place.
- Most of the world’s messes come from wanting more than we need. The same is true inside of us.
- Fill your home with reminders of what you care about. Your heart and mind follow your eyes.
- If you feel lost in your career, return to something that makes you come alive — even if just for an hour.
- Every so often, block a few days just to go for a long walk. Walk for hours. Even days. Pack light and sleep in nature. It’s one of the best resets there is.
- Don’t rush a transition. The in-between is where so much of the most important work happens. It’s where you find the best next step.
- When you lose something, don’t replace it too quickly. Some things return on their own. Some don’t. And that’s ok.
- When a friend passes away, don’t rush to move on. Grieve…with others…as much as you need. It won’t bring your friend back, but remembering them is honoring them.
- Forgiveness isn’t a moment in time. It’s a practice.
- You are not the chatter in your mind. But it is trying to tell you something. Pay attention, just don’t believe all of it.
- You can’t heal what you won’t name.
- If something isn’t working, listen. Action without understanding is the beginning of destruction.
- Things can feel all wrong on the outside and still be okay on the inside. They can also look just fine on the outside while everything inside is falling apart. Start with the inside.
- Being busy isn’t the same as being valuable. Learn the difference.
- If you can’t say it simply, you don’t understand it yet.
- Great leaders don’t have all the answers. They bring people together to wrestle with the right questions and then move forward.
- Leadership doesn’t begin with vision — it begins with listening.
- Inheriting a team is harder than building one. There’s history there. Be patient with them and yourself.
- Good partnerships aren’t about perfect balance. They’re about shared weight and honest, ongoing communication.
- You can love someone deeply and still ask more of them.
- A clear “no” is one of the kindest things you can offer someone.
- How you hand things off is as valuable as how you build things.
- When things break, don’t just rebuild the same thing. Build something better.
- Not everything needs to scale. Some things are beautiful because they are small.
- Thank the people who do the small, quiet things. They hold everything up.
- Celebrate more often. Host the dinner. Write the card. Give the small gift. Most people are carrying more than they let on. A little joy goes a long way.
- The bravest people are usually the most consistent.
- Most Leaps don’t begin with fanfare. They start quietly — a thought, a conversation, a choice. You can start today.
Here’s to the next decade of learning, growing, and building what matters…together.
Love,
Victor
[ Posted on Linkedin here. ]
